With that said, today was fun. A pleasant mixture of us, the Fugees, and the Franklin Forks had a blast breaking in Edgely 7. The "game" started with Buddy stacking the deck in his favor by choosing teams, but in blew up in his face when we scored 40 in the first inning (according to official scorekeeper Blackjack Andy). But who cares about a fake game? Let's get down to the important stuff. Here's a half-assed recap of shit that happened:
- Ryan shamelessly hit on Maureen.
- MMN shamelessly hit on several women, Buddy, two trees, a flip-flop, and on the way home, a police officer of questionable gender.
- Mike showed up, tattooed the ball and made stellar plays in the field.
- Then Mike and Chuckles B. Favre had a two car pileup at 2nd.
- Conspicuous by his absence was the Commish, who was off on his latest Edventure.
- Inconspicuous by their absence were the Shiffka's arms.
- Mickles threw a Frisbee at my head.
- People talked shit on Pam's dog.
- I called Chris "Chippy" for a good three innings and then felt sheepish.
- A lot of people got drunk.
- Some people didn't.
- Chris may or may not be a serial killer.
- I elbowdropped Buddy in the field.
- Then we did the Electric Slide. Nobody noticed.
- The OC ladies stepped up their field game.
- Pineapples are better when they are purple. And soaked in alcohol.
- BK drew a Sharktopus on the wall in my back yard.
- The Blogfather no showed after hearing there would be oranges present. Happy Ryan?
INJURY REPORT: Chuckles "Pink Tits" Favre bled onto his Wicked Witch socks. Maureen smelled Buddy AND a sweaty flip-flop. Strange. MMN drilled a Harlot with a ball, she was fine, he ended up with blue balls after a lack of follow up. Ryan threw his back out thinking about an 18-year-old intern. Buddy is expected to fully recover from the aforementioned elbow drop. Scrappy-Doo was scarred for life by a giant wiener. Meanwhile, Injurygraham has yet to be injured.
QUOTES:
"We broke Whitmarsh" - Me
"He's held together with tape, gin, and..." - BK
"Douches." - Me
"I didn't know we were playing!" - MMN
"That's what she said." - Jill. A scientist.
"Your mom!" - Some bald asshole
"I'll do whatever I want to Tina this year." - A hopeful guy in a Frankford Hall shirt
"I kept it in my mouth!" - A Harlot named Scrappy Doo
"I swear like a swailor." - Slurry Hussey
"It's so dark out and I can still see your skull." - Whitmarsh to his little Buddy
"With friends like these who needs LSD?" - Mickipedia
"I'm going to be anti-social and not talk to anyone." - The Jill
"I'm gonna score, dammit!" - Old City Asscap
"You're going to masturbate sadly in the bathroom." - Forceful Asscap
"Why don't you answer my texts?" - Former Management with separation anxiety
"I heart you." - The Fairmount Pooper
"Fantastic." - Unfortunate victim
"I can't wait to be inside you again!" - Pooper
"You said your car smelled like leftover Buddy." - Twittwer
"Yes! It did. It does. And it will again." - Dejected Maureen
"I'm too tired to make sentences that make sense." - Scrappy
"He didn't like my Pickle post. What a salty vegetable." - Some guy who writes blogs and takes his pants off in the field
"Grab this and see how warm it is." - SNS to some Hussey
"Eat something before you pass out." - Debbo
"But I'm coaching!" - Witty Asscap
"Right, because we can't live without you." - Proud new owner of a fancy phone
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