The 17-11 Experience

Previously on Rising Suns Softball: We finished last season with a win, a Miss Congeniality trophy, and the formation of a Happy Fun Times Committee. We also played a game in January.

Tonight's Episode: This evening we had our first (and only) preseason game against the Fleischer. Hey, remember the last time we played them? That was pretty neat. Speaking of the Fleischer, we need a clever name for them. Like the Flashers, but funnier. Anywho, we played a game.

After a grueling pre-match Rock, Paper, Scissors showdown between the President of the Happy Fun Times Committee and a former Fartie, the Rising Suns elected to kick off. We gave up three runs in the first inning, but looked better on the field than at any point from last season. Except for that one time, I think it was the last game of the season. Then came the bats. We made it almost all the way through the order and put six runs on the board. Not too shabby.

The game stayed pretty close for awhile there, with some truly impressive play from both teams. It probably would have been more impressive had I not tripped over second base and face planted in the dirt. I'm fairly certain the Ghost of Simzak Past cursed me or something. Either way, it gave Tina a reason to make fun of me.

We had a rough inning during which we gave up a shit-ton of runs, which was very reminiscent of last season, except for that one game. We rebounded nicely by tightening up the fielding and getting a few decent hits. We also had consistently smart base running, if you ignore that asshole who forgot you can't run through second. All around, this evening's showing was a good effort and a promising start for the Rising Suns.

The Score: 17-11, bad guys win. Sorry, USA.

Mr. Bump Injury Report: Beth Van ACE took a line drive to the shin, which is always fun. She walked it off like a boss and is expected to make a full recovery in time for Monday's Franklin fiasco. Also, I Simzaked over second base and bruised my ego.

Aesop's Moral Victory of the Game: Our bats woke up. Only took a year.

When your bank says no, Champion says yes Champion of the Game: That's a tough call. Chooch Pugh (say that out loud, it's funny) was a hitting machine, as were Kevin and Joe. BPH made some great grabs in the outfield without the support of any other Husseys. First Lobster had a stellar game. Speak-N-Spellman didn't break any bones. But I'm going to have to say Beth Van ACE for an all around good performance at the plate and on the mound.

Quotes:

"Can you keep the harlot jokes to a minimum?" - Your guess is as good as mine
"I make no promises." - El Presidente

"I harass Matt Riffe every day." - Mark
"It's only sexual harassment if they don't like it." - Jenna

"Sweet! Anything but softball!" - Jill

"Today is the day we let Beth try as many new positions as possible!" - Our Exuberant Leader

"Patience that!" - Pope Spellman, swinging on the first pitch

"Check out my awesome hat." - Pope Francis I

"Don't catch the ball." - BK, to our catcher. Actually good advice in our league, but still funny.

"WWAAAHHHH!" - Josh, after learning the two-strike rule

"Man, fuck hills." - BPH, chasing a foul

"This speech is long." - Hip
"It's almost as long as his emails." - Hip Hop
"I wonder if he dictates his emails." - Hip Hop Anonymous

"USA! USA!" - For those of you in the pool, this happened in the third inning

Next time on Rising Suns Softball: We play the Franklin Force to open the regular season. This game will be close, and we'll need to play as error-free as possible. So long as Buddy's beard isn't playing shortstop while Buddy drinks under the bench, I predict a 14-11 win for the Rising Suns.